True Love Never Dies . . .

  For those of you whom are not in the know, I absolutely LOVE the God of War trilogy.

   It is possibly the best action-adventure game ever constructed. It strikes a beautiful balance between it's heavy Greek mythology setting, which it utilises to the fullest extent, capturing the essence of the world as told when passed down via stories through the generations whilst giving it a twenty first century make over, and it's relentless and impressive [and extremely brutal] combat reflects the skill and quality of the main character in it's fluid animations.

   GOW [as it will further be known] is basically the love child between Clash of The Titans and Jason and  The Argonauts after snorting a barrel full of cocaine and going on a complete bender around ancient Greece. 9 months later after that train-wreck of a night [the two having not spoken much in the proceeding months [or proceeding remakes]] does Jason [the bitch of the relationship] give birth to their bastardised conceptual love-child, only for them abandon it in the wild and be raised and nourished by the Kill Bill franchise and thus the angriest creature in video gaming history is born. I shit thee not!!!

Angry Cat VS

Kratos

                             "Sorry 'Angry Cat'. You're just not quite 'trouser-staining-with-fear' enough"

   The main protagonist is also, technically, the antagonist. I know, right?!

   It's deliciously refreshing to play the villain. It puts an interesting twist on the role of a main character automatically being the savour of the tale as you are essentially the bad guy also.

 
   The hero, Kratos, is the primary cause of ruin for EVERYBODY, ANYWHERE, AT ANY TIME he is in the proximity of regardless of their intent or part they play in his life. Thus winning him the award of "Biggest Douche" ever conceived by mortals. Even more of a dick then God from the Old Testament and Hitlar combined.

 
   Kratos is a warrior from ye olde Greece. So ye olde that its practically fabled. The world is rich with life, teeming with a whole dictionary kind of mythic beasts from the Hydra [the first enemy and boss fight of the first game] to the Harpy ["and I dont just mean my ex wife! lololol" . . . Ahhhh. Wit.] and all those other ones inbetween . . . which would explain why the world is now so thoroughly without them because KRATOS KILLED. THEM. ALL!

  Once a mighty Spartan, the MIGHTIEST [300 style Spartan] warrior some might say - he gone fucked up good by being beat by a barbarian king. Whoops!

   That's the equivalent of being the worlds best acrobat till you stub your toe on the curb and fall flat on your face. I mean, holy shit. That's embbarissing.

Kratos At The Office Christmas Party

   So in his last few seconds alive he sells his soul to Aries, the God of War, so that he might become yet MORE bad-ass then before. He kills the barbarian king and becomes Aries's bitch. Nuff said, right?

   WRONG!

   He then accidentally butchers his family - LOLs!

   Guess whom he blames for that little blunder. I'll give you a guess, it's not him self.

   It kind of rolls on from there . . .

   Not to mention graphically it is gorgeous! With its visuals and the gargantuan death count, Hitler would have been be jealous with this impressive line up. In fact, I think he definitely was. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk7FsdE_nVs

   But today isn't the game I wanted to nerdgasm over. Nope. Surprisingly not.

   Today I have a new favourite game. It's called . . .

So Bad Ass He Doesn't Even Look At The Camera

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. A fast action high gothic european fantasy game series which, first appearing in the 80's, inspired GOW in the first place. Even just seeing the Vampire Killer chain whip puts me right on the edge!

My first love of the action-adventure game returns, just like Dracula.

Check it out!

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y8F0dQM1DI

That's right [for those whom actually viewed the trailer] Robert Carlyle and Patrick Stewart voice acting in the same game. Incidentally has any one else noticed that there was a massive vampire movement in western media at the same time that Thatcher, Dracula in drag, made her political début? I'm just sayin' is all.

And check this out for good measure the video is naff but the music is just epic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Thy2ip3fWkU

Now Im off to have a cold shower and change my pants. I feel dirty. But good.

Oh and in other news more crabs died

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/01/06/40-000-dead-crabs-washed-up-on-kent-coastline-as-uk-is-latest-country-to-be-hit-by-bizarre-animal-deaths-115875-22830580/