I stumbled my way through the cluttered floor planning towards what I eventually work out to be the main desk. I stand there dripping wet for ten minutes before someone approaches and sits behind the desk.
In all naivety they ask "Can I help you?". I repress the urge to utter the words of truth "No one can help someone like me" or for a towel and instead tell her that I've had an appointment and late but my adviser knows I am here and why I'm late.
I am informed that my adviser will come over shortly and in the meanwhile to enjoy their free coffee machines...
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COFFEE! |
Finally, my adviser arrived and we spent the next hour going through setting up my files. I deliberately decided to read everything through very carefully, even being a nuisance of myself by asking constantly about minor phrases or even entire paragraphs that seemed to contradict themselves or were obviously asking me to sign away information that was not needed nor legal for them to take. The word "may" in context of "you may" cropped up more then any other.
I deliberately chose to sign all forms put in-front of me for three reasons:
1) I had no intention of being on Work Program for very long and...
2) If I was to experience the full horror I had to sink to the lowest end of the low because...
3) I planned to write openly about my experience here.
She asked me what I thought my greatest need would be, I told her with a slight laugh that easily it was experience. How can I get a job that requires experience when I cannot get a job to gain it?
She said she understood but I had a feeling that somehow it would not matter if she understood my position or not. All that the Work Program did was try and push people into work. It was exceptionally unlikely that I'd receive any genuine help to improve my prospects of getting work.
After filling out a whole bunch of pointless forms I was finally asked what my strengths and weakness' are.
In the world of job interviews this has got to be the most asinine question to ask an potential employee. First of all, anyone with any sense will lie. Secondly, your strengths and weakness' of real-life usually have little to do with your work-life. For instance, in normal life I can be chatty and dominate I listed off a whole bunch of key words that I thought represented my strengths...and was stopped.
According to my adviser what I was doing was listening off a bunch of key words . . . Yes. And? That's what you asked me to do . . .
Apparently, despite being told to do this, this would not do. I told her I did not spout off answers like this during my interviews so she asked me to answer as if I was under interview conditions - but not to worry because it was not an interview so don't feel like it is.
. . . What?
The whole process was extremely condescending.
We moved on to what kind of work I'd like to do. I made sure she was wanting me to be honest, and she was, so I answered with a multitude of responses from my broad background of passions and interests.
Work Program seem stumped that I would have interests in more areas then "getting a job". Apparently studying for Electrical Engineering (for trade work), writing free-lance (for the passion) and doing bar work (for the monies) is too complicated. It's dead simple...
1) I learn a trade because job security is shit these days and I want to have a back-up trade to my name. Plus, I am sick of working in industries where I passively contribute to killing people via liver and lung cancers. If I can't kill people quickly and by lightning then I don't see the point.
2) My passions are not work that will pay well: writing and acting. Tell me again why I should "follow me passions", Mrs Work Program employee - because I will but you'll have a hell of a time trying to find paid work for me.
3) Bar work is simple. It's not a career I want to do but I CAN do it.
So, let me break it down for you:
1) I am studying to do this because...
2) This is not a career that can pay enough to support my life and I can and do this for free whilst...
3) This keeps me from being stuck with YOU for the next two years.
She went off to photocopy some paperwork and I went off to abuse the free coffee privileges.
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SECOND COFFEE |
I'm going to blog about my experiences through Work Program for a while. I hope it can help educate some and entertain others.
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