My name is Francis Cubric, I'm twenty five years old and I'm a nanny by profession. I became a nanny cause I've always wanted to have kids of my own but don't want to have them without the finances to support them or whilst I'm too young. I don't want to ruin my, and their, lives.
I always start my working day at six thirty, the same time I always do five days a week. I get round to the house for half seven and make sure that Harvey is awake, bathed, fed and clothed. I'm essentially this kids parents wrapped into one package, except I get a pay cheque for being it. Plus, being a guy I guess I only fill one of those gender roles . . .
Today started fairly average. We did the usual 'getting up' routine and then I walked with Harvey to his play group first thing in the morning. We always hold hands because I don't want him to run off or fall and hurt himself - not that I think he would, he's a good kid. It's his parents that I'm thinking of. They hold the stick with the carrot attached. Even so I'm worried that Harvey's emotional developement is being strangled by their absence, a kid needs his parents ya know? I mean, I tried to kick up some dead leaves with him in the park but he was having none of it. What kind of kid does not want to kick up autum leaves?
Sorry, I'll stick to the point. So, yeah - it was chilly and clowded over that morning. I'd wrapped Harvey up in his winter coat, hat and scarf. We walked the mile or so through the park past the duck pond and into town to his play group. Here I usually see him to the gate and let him walk on inside and wait untill I know he's gone in. Gives him his own autonomy, right? Most parents walk their kids in but I'm not his parent, so . . .
But today when I tried to let go of his hand at the gate he wouldn't let go of mine. I decided to go in with him. You know, make sure he was alright. So we walked in together. Past reception cause there was no one at the desk and straight into the main hall.
Right. Well. We enter the room and it's full of parents, right? Or child-minders or play support workers. I dunno. Never been in before. But it's full of kids, maybe about half a douzen, with toys running around all over the place and adults, all of them women, and all of them chatting to each other [it was like "Loose Women"] and I don't know if any of them saw me come in but I noticed them. Or, actually, I noticed "her".
I sort of instantly stopped and, I guess, stared. Slipped into a day dream. She stood out a mile. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. She looked too young to be a mother, could have been some one who worked there but there was a little girl, I think, trying to hide behind her long, lean legs, dressed in black tights and suggested otherwise. She wore a viberent green skirt with a slight crease and darker green swirls, velvet I think, embroided into the fabric that ended just before the knee. A yellow woolen cardigan that hugged her figure just right. No too tight or baggy. And her hair . . . I'm sorry if I'm wittering. I'm just nervous, okay? So. Her hair . . . long, flame red hair that poured from the top of her head like liquid fire and ran down to the centre of her back. It flicked with grace and ease as she turned her head and I saw her eye's for the first time. She looked like the worlds sexiest traffic light. Do you believe in love at first sight? I think I do. I think right that second I fell in love with her. And her eyes . . .wow. A deep crystal blue, yet warm and welcoming like a lagoon. I could feel myself diving into those eye's. Those eyes looking back at mine. Into mine . . .
Thats when I realised that I had been staring and she was staring back at me. Shock plastered across her dainty, pale face. Her eyes had quickly held me in contempt. I was jolted from my day dream back into reality. Thats when I realised that some thing was very wrong. Every one, every women I should say, had stopped chattering. Not only that but they were all looking at me. Some looked disgusted, some shocked but all of them stared with gawping jaws. Apart from the kids in the back ground there was dead silence.
I was starting to panic. I didn't understand what was happening. Had they caught me looking? Was some thing awful on my face, or behind me? I felt like ice cold water had been thrown over my soul.
Then I felt a twinge in my left hand and my arm tug and I realised, as I looked, that Harvey was still there, only I was holding his hand and I hadn't let go. He was pulling away from me. And it was then, out the corner of my own eye that I saw myself. I realised why they were staring and . . oh God. Well. You know what happened. I have to say it? In my own words? Well . . . I had an erection. A really obvious one. Everyone had seen. I think I went white cause I felt faint and in terror I let go of Harvey's hand. I don't know where he went next cause I felt this tap on my shoulder and it startled me. I almost yelped. But I couldn't, I was stiff as a rod you see - no, my whole body not my - anyway, so I turned my head sharply to the right but I couldn't move my body and there was this old women just stood there beside me. She held a form and a pen in her hand, a register, in retrospect, and asked me, I think if I was Harveys father.
[here the suspect goes silent for half a minute]
In terror I blurtered out: No, he's not mine.
[here the suspect closes his eyes and goes completely silent]
[[END OF TRANSCRIPT]]
Present: Constable Parkins, Detective Kowul, suspect Francis Cubric and his lawyer Martin Hudge
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The national papers ran the headlines: "Parents Playground Erection Horror", "Nurserys Revolving Door One Stop For Paedo's" and "Perverts in Our Pre-Schools".
It wouldn't be so bad but my mum reads the taboids.
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