In just a few hours I
will be sat in awkward silence between three generations of blood
relatives. I expect conversation to be scarce and forced over a bowl
of fancy pasta. If that's all we have to contend with at that time
then that will do just fine.
I'm not one for fights. I've become very confident in my ability to purswade another's opinion through logical and rational argument, and when my words fall on deft ears I have a kangaroo's kick. But this is a circumstance where it's not my words (or my kicks) I'll have to worry about. For the first time in ten years my ma and my gran will meet up today and it's all me and my brothers fault.
It's something about Christmas that brings people together. Mainly I think because they feel they should. Especially when they don't like each other. I used to think that this semi-forced gathering of family was a useless exercise in tradition but now I'm not so sure. You see this situation of getting my gran and ma together would not have happened otherwise. They've tried for years to make this happen but to no result. Yet because it's an opportune time of year (and probably because they didn't organise it between themselves) all we had to so was lightly push the pieces together. It's not that they hate each other but rather, in the way that relationships do, it evolved so that they didn't get on. It happens in life and I guess you can't get on with everybody all the time. But what Christmas and it's traditions of forced family gatherings can offer is an opportunity to make things right.
What I am hoping to get from this is some resolution between the two or maybe closure if that is what it takes. You see, I am poor. Christmas will not be extravagant in my house. I have nothing to offer in terms of trinkets or consumerist gifts. Yet I am wealthy in what else I can offer. And I think that people often forget what else they can offer at this time of year (especially in the west). I can offer a neutral space for my ma and her ma to make up and, maybe, spend the next ten years in contact rebuilding their relationship*.
I hope this works.
I'm not one for fights. I've become very confident in my ability to purswade another's opinion through logical and rational argument, and when my words fall on deft ears I have a kangaroo's kick. But this is a circumstance where it's not my words (or my kicks) I'll have to worry about. For the first time in ten years my ma and my gran will meet up today and it's all me and my brothers fault.
It's something about Christmas that brings people together. Mainly I think because they feel they should. Especially when they don't like each other. I used to think that this semi-forced gathering of family was a useless exercise in tradition but now I'm not so sure. You see this situation of getting my gran and ma together would not have happened otherwise. They've tried for years to make this happen but to no result. Yet because it's an opportune time of year (and probably because they didn't organise it between themselves) all we had to so was lightly push the pieces together. It's not that they hate each other but rather, in the way that relationships do, it evolved so that they didn't get on. It happens in life and I guess you can't get on with everybody all the time. But what Christmas and it's traditions of forced family gatherings can offer is an opportunity to make things right.
What I am hoping to get from this is some resolution between the two or maybe closure if that is what it takes. You see, I am poor. Christmas will not be extravagant in my house. I have nothing to offer in terms of trinkets or consumerist gifts. Yet I am wealthy in what else I can offer. And I think that people often forget what else they can offer at this time of year (especially in the west). I can offer a neutral space for my ma and her ma to make up and, maybe, spend the next ten years in contact rebuilding their relationship*.
I hope this works.
Merry Christmas to mum and gran. X X X
* And a Michael Buble CD. 'Cause Grans love Michael Buble.
It was great, you two are amazing and we will have a fantastic Christmas because:
ReplyDeletea/ we've not had to torture ourselves with shopping
b/we'll all put together and buy only food that we'd like to eat (no spouts or pasta, although I quiet like sprouts)
c/we won't end up with tat we don't want or worse that we have to return,thereby having to go to the shops we've carefully avoided
d/we get to spend time having fun, smugly aware that others are being force fed a Christmas package no one wants
e/we get to open any pressies we do get whenever we want and get SOO much more enjoyment from them
f/ I could go on.
Love you
Mum XxX
It was great, you two are amazing and we will have a fantastic Christmas because:
ReplyDeletea/ we've not had to torture ourselves with shopping
b/we'll all put together and buy only food that we'd like to eat (no spouts or pasta, although I quiet like sprouts)
c/we won't end up with tat we don't want or worse that we have to return,thereby having to go to the shops we've carefully avoided
d/we get to spend time having fun, smugly aware that others are being force fed a Christmas package no one wants
e/we get to open any pressies we do get whenever we want and get SOO much more enjoyment from them
f/ I could go on.
Love you
Mum XxX